welcome to mommyhood!

All of my friends who are parents warned me this day would happen, but I didn't believe them. Yesterday @ church, I thought I would top the Boss off so I could actually sit thru sacrament instead of pleading w/ her to stop screaming. So before church I fed her and tried to burp her. Instead of a small little burp, she spit up full on Linda Blair exorsist spewing. She got my shirt and skirt as well as her onsie, skirt and the fat fold under her neck. No problem, I thought, I always carry a spare onsie just in case something happened. I cleaned myself off as best as I could, cleaned the Boss off and went about my normal church day. I got her to sleep to help John (who can never manage to keep her asleep). After I teach my class, I notice she's awake and I offer to take the Boss so he could pay attention to class.

So I had the Boss and I ran into a friend of mine and was talking to her when I noticed the Boss was sucking on her thumb and pointer finger w/ her pinky and ring finger curled under. Even though I know she didn't know what she was doing, it looked like my adorable daughter was flipping my friend Sarah the bird! She was even smiling and cooing while flipping her off.

So the last 1/2 hr of church, the Boss farts. I didn't think it was such a big deal until I notice the back of her white onsie was starting to turn mustard yellow (newborn poop looks like mustard). I get up, grab her diaper bag and go to the bathroom to change her. She had pooped so bad it came out the front back and sides of her diaper. She managed to get poop on my shirt and naturally, I ran out of wipes. I had to finish cleaning her up w/ wet paper towels. Since she had no more clean outfits, she had to finish church out naked.

All I was waiting for yesterday was for her to pee on me, then I would have been covered in every liquid avalible to the Boss. John thought it was funny and was very glad it wasn't him.